ADHD and the Power of Solo Living

Why Your Cat Might Be the Best Roommate for Your ADHD Brain Have you ever noticed that being single really messes with your ADHD? Yeah, me too. I promise you—we are not alone. Welcome to A Solo Person’s Guide to ADHD! I’m Christine Dunning, Master Certified Life Coach and proud owner of Two Cats Coaching (yes, actual cats included). This article (derived from Episode 1 of my podcast) is for those of us navigating life with ADHD—solo style. Whether you’re rocking inattentive type, bouncing with hyperactivity, or living that combo life, this space is for you . Why I’m Here (and Why This Exists) I was diagnosed with inattentive ADHD at the age of (brace yourself)... 61 . Surprise! Suddenly, so many of my life’s quirks made sense. Like my long-standing battle with executive functioning. For example: if you’re check out my podcast on YouTube and you see a tidy room behind me, please know the truth— I shoved all the clutter out of frame. ADHD magic trick #1. A History of Impulsivity (and Dating Disasters) I grew up thinking I had to be in a relationship. My parents got married six weeks after meeting during WWII. So naturally, I assumed love should be instant. Like... Amazon Prime but with feelings. Spoiler: it didn’t work that way. About 20 years ago, after enough romantic detours, I decided to stop dating and just try being . And guess what? I felt free . ADHD and the Solo Life When I was diagnosed, I did the usual thing: I went to the books, the experts, the podcasts. And guess what many of them said? “Find a neurotypical partner to help you manage your ADHD.” ...Cool. And if I don’t have one? If you’re happily solo (or even reluctantly so), that advice doesn’t help. So let’s talk about what makes solo ADHD life different—and sometimes, better. 1. The External Structure Vacuum ADHD brains love structure. Deadlines. Expectations. Someone to report to. Now... who’s expecting you to do the dishes at home? (If you said “my cat,” I see you.) You have to create your own systems—and you can . Bonus: you get to make them weird and wonderful without judgment. 2. The Dopamine Desert Dopamine is the magic chemical we ADHDers crave. Without enough of it, everything feels flat or overwhelming. Solo life = no built-in stimulation (like conversations with a partner). So we learn to make our own dopamine— without self-sabotaging or spending $189 on scented markers at 2 a.m. 3. Radical Self-Reliance Living alone means learning to depend on yourself. To recover faster. To be messy in peace. You become your own support system and you get to invite others in—on your terms. The Moment It All Clicked Three months into solo life, I found myself crying in the car thinking, “I need a man to fix this!” And then it hit me. What I really wanted? A dad. A protector. Someone to “handle it.” But I didn’t need that. I realized I could handle it myself—or hire someone who could. (I’m not rich, but I can swing it sometimes.) That was my turning point. I haven’t looked back. You Can Be Solo With ADHD—And Thrive If you take nothing else from this post, take this: You can be solo and live a full, empowered, joyful life with ADHD. I’m proof. If I can do it—you can too. Word Nerd Notes A reminder: ADHD is a diagnosis, not an identity. I have ADHD. I am not ADHD. But yeah, sometimes I say “I’m ADHD” for shorthand. Old habits die hard. Also, I prefer the word solo to single . “Single” feels like it comes with a blinking neon sign that says “AVAILABLE.” Solo just means I dance to my own beat.