Finding Your North Star – Clarifying What Truly Matters

Most of us are busy chasing success—titles, promotions, material rewards. Yet beneath the momentum, there’s often a quiet question: Is this really what I want? In my coaching work, I’ve seen high-performing professionals who appear to “have it all” yet feel restless or disconnected. They’ve been following external definitions of success for so long that they’ve lost touch with what genuinely drives them. Why It Matters Your “North Star” isn’t a job title or a specific goal; it’s a sense of direction anchored in your values and purpose. Without that anchor, decisions become reactive. You say yes to everything that seems impressive, only to find yourself overextended and unsatisfied. When your actions align with what truly matters, work becomes more meaningful—even during challenging seasons. Clarity doesn’t eliminate uncertainty, but it makes it easier to navigate because you know what you stand for. The Shift Finding your North Star starts with reflection, not reinvention. I often ask clients to list five moments in their lives when they felt most alive or proud—not necessarily the biggest achievements, but the ones that left them deeply fulfilled. Maybe it was mentoring a teammate, building something from scratch, or leading under pressure. Then we look for patterns. Values emerge quickly: growth, autonomy, impact, creativity, service. Once you can name those values, you can begin to measure opportunities against them. When a choice aligns with your core values, it energizes you. When it conflicts, it drains you. This process isn’t abstract. For example, one client realized her happiest moments came from collaborating and problem-solving in fast-moving teams. Her current role, though lucrative, was solitary and bureaucratic. Recognizing that mismatch gave her permission to pursue a lateral move that reignited her enthusiasm. Try This Reflect. Write down five moments when you felt your best. Identify the emotions and circumstances around each. Extract Values. For each moment, ask “What value was being honored?” (e.g., learning, freedom, contribution). Define Alignment. Evaluate your current work and life commitments against those values. What fits? What doesn’t? Choose One Shift. Make one adjustment this week that moves you closer to your North Star—decline a project that clashes with your values or commit more time to something that aligns. You’ll know you’re getting closer when decisions feel lighter, not heavier. Clarity doesn’t mean every day is easy, but it replaces confusion with confidence.