How To Overcome a Problem

I am constantly asked how do you overcome a problem? Working in mental health for 4 decades, I have certainly been trained, tried, and utilized dozens of methods. But when asked recently what my top 3 tips are, I took a quick pause. After a moment of reflection, here is what I have found to deal with life, when life is being a mother fucker. So, without further ado… My top tip hands down would be to stop talking and posting about your problem. There are two reasons for this. First, the more you talk, post, and think about what is wrong, you are not thinking about what is right. More importantly, you are making the problem {in most cases} mush bigger than it actually is. Sure, by all means talk to a trusted friend or perhaps get professional help. But be constructive in those conversations. Do not fall victim to pity. Two, not everyone you call friend, is your friend. The last thing you need at this time is someone berating, belittling, or bashing you. Keep these conversations for the people you trust the most. Tip number two. When life is spiraling out of control, take a pause. I know. It sounds counterproductive. The reasoning behind this is you are not thinking with a clear head. Don’t complicate your life when it is already complicated. There is a reason when all Hell breaks loose, they tell you to breathe. It’s a natural reset. Take the reset. Lose little or lose big. Taking a pause is the one thing that you can control, in an out-of-control situation. Tip 3. Don’t make it about you. In many cases, helping someone who is dealing with more than you, turns it all around for you. Go and be a blessing. I remember years ago working with the terminally ill. Talk about a life changing experience. Something magical happens when you act in “service”. Will it solve your problem? It could, but probably not. But what it does do is, it puts your mindset in a different place. And that often enough is the shift that we need. It also lightens the load for another. And you can’t put a price tag on that. Bonus tip. Make a list of action items and work on them every day. The goal is to improve your life. Don’t swing for a home run. A walk or a base hit is plenty. {A little baseball metaphor for you.} You just want to keep moving forward…after you have taken the pause/reset. Celebrate those small wins. Even if it is just getting out of bed and showing up for work. That’s a win. Celebrate and build momentum. Facing problems is going to look different for everyone. Some people lean into faith. Others lean into drugs. Whatever you do, be gentle on yourself. Make sure it is healthy. Facing difficult times is something that we all have to do. Learn from the people who focus instead of fold during these times. Because life can be hard. And no one is exempt.