Something Has to Give: How Leaders Shape Priority Culture

You've a task planner and you use it daily. You attend meetings that require your input and decline others. You delegate effectively. You coach your team leaders. You've created space in your calendar for focused work. And yet, you still feel like you're running on a hamster wheel and wonder what you accomplished at the end of the day. Two weeks ago, we talked about the hourglass squeeze. Last week, the knowing-doing gap. This week: the root cause sabotaging both, the absurd belief that you can have multiple top priorities. Fun and frightful fact: the word "priority" didn't become plural until the mid-1900s. For centuries, it existed only in the singular because you can't have multiple "first" things. When everything is a priority, nothing is. Mindset Phase: The Dangerous Comfort of Busyness The Achiever's Trap You got here by being someone who delivers. So, when senior leadership piles on another strategic initiative, you nod and add it to the list. But accepting impossible workloads isn't high performance, it's people-pleasing dressed up as professionalism. You're sacrificing actual results for the appearance of handling everything. Beware the cost: stretched teams, quality sacrifices, long days and overtime and ultimately… burnout. The Illusion of Control There's seductive comfort in believing that working harder or optimizing better will get you on top of everything. But you can't optimize your way out of fundamentally unrealistic expectations. No amount of time management will solve a scope problem. By continuing to try, you're enabling a dysfunctional system that benefits no one. The Fear of Being 'Difficult' What's really holding you back? Fear of being seen as someone who can't handle the job. But senior leaders who pile on priorities aren't necessarily trying to overwhelm you, they're often disconnected from the cumulative weight of what they're asking. Your silence isn't protecting you; it's preventing better organizational decisions. The shift: You're not a passive recipient of priorities; you're a strategic partner in defining them. You're not asking permission to do less work. You're advocating for better outcomes by focusing limited resources on what will actually move the needle. Skillset Phase: Getting to the Real Priority The Priority Audit Make the invisible visible. List every initiative, project, and goal you're responsible for. Most leaders discover they're juggling 8-12 "priorities." Then force-rank them by actual impact on organizational goals. Which one, executed brilliantly, would create the most value? The Clarifying Conversation Schedule dedicated time with your senior leader. Frame it strategically: "I want to make sure I'm focusing my team's energy where it matters most." Present your list. Then ask: "If you had to choose just one of these as our number one priority for the next quarter, which would it be?" When they say "they're all important," and they will, gently insist: "I understand. And if we could only do one of these exceptionally well, with full focus and resources, which would create the most value right now?" The Trade-Off Question Once you've established the primary priority, ask: "If this is what we're focusing on, what should I stop doing or deprioritize to make room for it?" This forces the conversation into reality, making trade-offs explicit. If they can't answer, try: "Given our resources, focusing on X means Y and Z will move slower or see reduced quality. I need your guidance on whether that trade-off is acceptable." The Consistent Message Communicate the priority relentlessly. In team meetings, one-on-ones, project reviews, keep asking "How does this support our number one priority?" When someone brings a new initiative, evaluate it through this lens. This consistency protects your team from constant shifting focus and signals to senior leadership what's happening at the execution level. Matchset (Accountability) Phase: Making It Stick Daily Self-Check Start each day asking: "What am I doing today that directly supports our number one priority?" End each day: "What didn't support it, and why?" Keep a log for a week. If you're spending 70% of your time on non-priority work, that's valuable information for another conversation with leadership. Peer Accountability Find fellow mid-level managers and commit to monthly priority check-ins. Better yet conduct a collective audit. List all priorities each of you has been assigned. When you see it all in one place, the impossibility becomes undeniable. This creates leverage for a group conversation: "We're collectively being asked to accomplish X initiatives with Y capacity. Help us understand what success looks like." Quarterly Priority Reviews Build a standing quarterly meeting with your senior leader to revisit priorities. Come prepared with data: what you accomplished on the primary priority, where other initiatives stalled, what's being requested for next quarter. This prevents drift back into "everything is a pr