The Inner Critic vs. The Inner Coach – Taming the Voice That Holds You Back The Challenge

We all have an inner voice that loves to critique. It tells us we’re not ready, not good enough, not as accomplished as others. For high achievers, this inner critic can be especially loud. It masquerades as motivation but often leads to paralysis. I’ve seen clients hesitate to apply for promotions or launch new projects because of that constant internal whisper: Who do you think you are? The irony is, these are often the same people others see as confident and capable. Why It Matters Your internal dialogue shapes your external reality. When you believe the critic, you shrink opportunities. When you empower your inner coach, you expand them. The critic operates from fear. Its job is to protect you from failure or embarrassment. But growth requires discomfort. The shift isn’t about silencing the critic. It’s about changing who has the microphone. Your inner coach is that wiser, more compassionate voice that sees setbacks as lessons and progress as evidence of capability. The more you practice hearing that voice, the quieter the critic becomes. The Shift The first step is awareness. Catch the critic in real time. Pay attention to the tone and content of your self-talk. Would you speak to a friend that way? I worked with a client who was preparing for a major presentation. Her inner critic fixated on every past stumble. We reframed the dialogue by asking, What would your inner coach say? She replied, “You’ve done this before. You know your material. Just breathe and connect.” That shift alone transformed her confidence. When you externalize both voices, as in naming them and even writing them down, you take control of the conversation instead of being controlled by it. The critic thrives on perfectionism; the coach thrives on progress. The critic demands certainty; the coach values learning. Choosing which voice to amplify determines your experience of challenge. Try This Label the Voice. When self-doubt surfaces, literally say, “That’s my critic talking.” This creates distance. Counter It. Ask, “What would my inner coach say right now?” Write that down. Collect Evidence. Keep a list of your wins—big or small. Review it when the critic gets loud. Rehearse Self-Compassion. Replace “I should have known better” with “I’m learning as I go.” The inner critic may never disappear completely, but it loses power when you choose awareness over automatic reaction. Over time, the coach’s voice becomes your new baseline, the steady, encouraging guide who helps you grow with confidence. I’m Chris Kolling, a leadership and career coach at TorquePath , where I help professionals gain clarity, confidence, and direction in their work and life.